Act I, Scene I.

Dramatis Personae;

Ellen Dewberry - Wife; Ex - Hooker
Chris Dewberry - Husband; Lawyer

Set Description;

Dewberries' bedroom. Bed, vanity, stool, nightstand, door to the bathroom. Bed is made of mirrors, in counterpart to the vanity. Very old Hollywood style. Plasma television above the bed on the ceiling. Very ellegant. Silks and Indian cottons consume the bedroom. Ellen and Chris are lying on the bed opposite each other. Fancy clothes lay all around the bed suggestive of last night's events.

ELLEN: [long shot](obscurely) Wake up thou infectious common-kissing bladder!
CHRIS: (lying on the bed, not ready to wake up) (annoyed, low voice) I just hate you and I hate your ass face..
ELLEN: (grouchy, mumbling) (begins to sit up on the bed, covering herself with the blanket) I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
CHRIS: [medium shot](turns to face opposite Ellen pulling the blanket away) Thou puking ill-nurtured maggot-pie, what are you so ferocious about?!
ELLEN: (bitterly) I just want the damn truth!
CHRIS: (growing with anger) You can't handle the truth you bootless fat-kidneyed hedge-pig!
ELLEN: It is because I'm a bawdy milk-livered bladder, as you announced last night? Or is it because I'm getting old and bristly?
CHRIS: It's not the years, honey. (pause) It's the mileage. When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke. (chuckles)
ELLEN: (raising voice) You're a currish earth-vexing dewberry. You know that?!
CHRIS: (calm matter) See, (pause) that's what I love about these high school girls. I get older, they stay the same age. (slurring the words) And hags like you just keep nagging and nagging and nagging.
ELLEN: (turns to face Chris) Maybe if you stopped sleeping around so much there wouldn't be a need for it!
CHRIS: (turns to look at her, pointing his finger) Listen here flirt-gill. You were a common-kissing bladder, before I scouped you up and brought you here. You better be thankful.
ELLEN: (mourning) So, (pause) you never did love me, (pause) (enraged) DID YOU?! (picks up a mirror from the nightstand and throws it at Chris)
CHRIS: (mirror smashes) (panicked) DO YOU MIND?! You little unappreciative measle! (gets out of bed)
ELLEN: [high angle shot](pulls the blanket over her head) I HATE YOU! (bawling)
CHRIS: [low angle shot](storms into the bathroom) (sarcasticly) Oh, No! Ellen hates me, I better watch out! (kisses teeth) (turns on shower)

End of Act I, Scene I.